A Chance at Happiness
by fairygirlie
Summary: A peek into the lives of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks following the events in the hospital ward. HBP spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

I watched an ashamed and embarrassed Tonks slip out of the hospital ward at Hogwarts as quietly as she could soon after Harry left the room with Professor McGonagall. She can be quite stealthy when she needs to be. Although everyone remaining in the room was preoccupied with Bill's questionable condition, her absence was also duly noted in the looks I was being given by Molly and Arthur Weasley.

While gazing at Fleur attending to her son's jagged wounds, Molly softly spoke. "You need to go to her Remus. Please, you need to talk to her. She's been worried about you for months. She barely eats, she can't concentrate, she's even having problems changing her appearance."

"I know that," I replied. It's hard not to notice the absence of pink hair.

"Really Remus," she continued, "everyone knows you have strong feelings for her. Why do you insist on hiding them?"

"I'm sorry Molly," I said, "things between us will never be simple. I can't walk through her front door, sweep her up into my arms and say 'Tonks, darling, please forgive me for being an insensitive oaf. I love you intensely and want you to be my mate for life, consequences be damned.' It could never work out, I know it and deep down inside, she knows it as well."

Molly, Arthur and even Fluer stared at me dumbfounded. I knew in that instant I had said too much.

"Mate for life? I never knew you felt quite that strongly about her," Arthur said.

"Well, I've never actually verbalized it before," I said. Damn, I feel my face start to flush. Why can't I keep these emotions buried?

"How long have you felt this way, Remus?" Molly asked. "We all picked up on an attraction between you two long before Sirius, um, uh," she stammered, still uncomfortable mentioning his demise.

"Probably from the moment I met her" I admitted. This was true. From the moment I met Nymphadora Tonks, I was drawn to her like a moth to the flame. She was so unlike anyone I've ever met. "But from the moment I first met her, I've been reminding myself of the painful truth: she needs more than a poor, unemployed werewolf in her life. Especially one who's over a decade older than her. She needs a reliable mate, someone without the potential to rip her throat out once a month. Someone who would be a constant in her life. Someone who deserves her love. Not long after Sirius fell behind the veil, I decided to distance myself from her. She didn't need any further pain in her life."

"She's an auror, she can take care of herself" Molly said, "and besides, she loves you as much as you love her, even with all the pain you've inadvertently caused her. "

"Yes, after tonight, I realized that as well." I said.

"I think you know what you need to do, Remus," Arthur said with the hint of a smile in his voice.

From the bed, a groggy, disoriented Bill Weasley started to wake up. Bill and Molly crowded around their wounded son, both with tears of joy in their eyes. The joy of having another moment with their son. The joy of knowing that despite sustaining a life-threatening injury he'll still have love and happiness in his life.

I slipped out of the hospital ward as silently as possible. I need to think.


	2. Chapter 2

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

I am an idiot.

I can't believe I couldn't keep my big mouth shut. I had to have an outburst in front of everyone. Everyone knows how I feel about Remus. Granted, Molly and Arthur already knew, but to have a fit in front of Harry, Hermione, Ron and God know who else was in the ward earlier in the night; that was completely inappropriate, especially in light of what happened tonight. Dumbledore was murdered, Snape is a traitor, Greyback attacked Bill, and of course, my emotions run wild whenever I'm around Remus.

Oh Remus. Something tells me I may never see him again.

I've been standing in the front hallway of my flat for several minutes now, after Apparating back home replaying the whole evening in my head over and over again…the whole battle, but especially the part in the hospital ward at Hogwarts. I feel like my feet are rooted to the ground. I can't bear to move, to breathe, but I need to keep moving. I need to occupy my mind with something. As I look around the flat, it occurs to me that I've really got nothing to. No dishes to wash, no laundry to do, no simple busywork that could take my mind off life.

Something draws me to window, so I decide to sit in the dark and look out onto the city. I don't live in an attractive part of town; no city skyline for me, but I'm content to look out onto Muggle flats and imagine what is going on in the lives of the people who have absolutely no idea what's going on in my world. It just started raining and I can tell a thunderstorm is on the horizon. After spending a few more minutes at the window, I pour myself a glass of whiskey, a gift from one of my Muggle cousins. If I'm going to wallow in self-pity, this is really a great way to do it.

"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down…" I weakly sing to myself as I watch the downpour outside. Actually, I love the rain. It's like the heavens wash away all the grime and soot of the day leaving a new beginning. Tonight, the heavens are crying. Crying for the loss of a great man. Inside I'm crying for everything and everyone. As I pour myself another glass, I'm suddenly sickened by what I've become. Before Remus entered my life, I was always an effervescent, fun girl. I felt like people enjoyed hanging out with me. I loved my job…then things changed. No, no, this is all wrong. It has nothing to do with Remus…well, actually it does, it's his fault partially. Letting myself fall in love with him was the worst thing that could've happened.

We were friends from the first moment I met him. He struck me as an extremely smart, dedicated man with an undercurrent of mischief. And for someone twelve years older than me, I must admit that I was instantly attracted to him. There was just something about him; something I couldn't quite put my finger on.. We spent so much time together at Grimmauld Place. Usually it was Remus, Sirius and me but sometimes it was just the two of us. We could spend hours talking about nothing at all, yet I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world. We could also be in the same quietly room working without the need to fill the silence…Then Sirius died. Everything changed.

Even though Sirius was my cousin, I never really knew him all that well, but we had been growing close during that short year we spent working together with the Order. When he was locked away in Azkaban, the whole family grieved and moved on, never expecting to ever see him again. When he escaped, I had the opportunity to get to know him all over again. When he died, I was crushed at the reality that he was gone for good this time. I think Remus knew I felt this way. We talked about our experiences dealing with loss a few days after I was released from St. Mungos, on the way back from the train station, after we dealt with the Dursleys. Remus had more loss in his life than anyone I've ever met, but it felt good to talk about our experiences.

During one of those talks, I discovered that I was falling for Remus. I had never been in love before. I had barely been in "like" as teenagers might phrase it, but I knew what these new feelings were.

Outside, the lightening clapped, rousing me from my reverie. Finishing my glass and wiping the tears from my eyes, I retired to my bedroom. Sometimes happiness is a nice, warm bed.


	3. Chapter 3

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

This is wrong in so many ways, but I need to be here.

I had only been to Tonks' flat once. It was well over a year ago. It was late at night and she had accidentally left her scarf at Grimmauld Place; the weather outside looked like snow was on the horizon, so I had the perfect reason to stop by. As I had to ask Sirius for directions, he half jokingly told me to be nice to his cousin and to "keep the wolf in my pants." On that occasion, I knocked on the door and instantly felt guilty for rousing Tonks out of bed, but it was good to see her. She invited me inside, but I declined the offer, apologizing profusely for waking her up, yet on the inside secretly treasuring the knowledge of what her pajamas and messy hair looked like.

Yet again, I'm at her apartment feeling guilty for troubling her, but this time is much worse. And this time I'm an uninvited guest, not to mention the fact that I Apparated directly into her living room without her permission. I can tell that she is here; I can smell her scent mingled with a touch of whiskey. As I walk around her flat, I take a chance and peer into her bedroom. She is lying on top of her quilt, limbs splayed out across the bed and mouth slightly open. She looks troubled. It breaks my heart to leave her doorway, but I can't risk her waking up to find a strange figure standing in her doorway.

It's 3:30 in the morning and I've been walking around town in the rain. Mostly I've been walking around her part of the city completely engrossed in thought. Too much has happened within the past 24 hours. I still can't believe Dumbledore is dead. We may never get over this shock. On a more superficial level, I am also currently homeless. When I've spent time away from my fellow werewolves during the past few months, I've stayed at Grimmauld Place. Although Harry is the rightful owner of the property, he's welcomed me to stay whenever I stop into town. After Snape's betrayal last night, I'm sure the magical security has been compromised and Death Eaters have probably learned the secrets of the property already. I could stay at the Burrow, but in light of Bill's attack, I'm sure the Weasley's would want some privacy. Also, due to last night's battle with Greyback, chances are very good there is a price out on my head. Being a spy among the werewolves was always a deadly endeavor and I knew it all along. Each and every one of them wouldn't hesitate to kill be in a heartbeat.

So, let's see: I'm homeless, unemployed, deeply involved in a war, a witness to the injuries and deaths of my friends and allies, and let's not forget the fact that I'm standing in a flat belonging to a heartbroken witch. At least I remembered to use a drying charm: a necessity in this weather. At least her floors are safe from puddles.

Tonks. If I concentrate, I can hear her breathing. I wish I could hold her in my arms and make everything better, but I can't. But why am I here? I haven't really figured that out. I walk around her flat to see how she personalized the place but am surprised at what I find: just the bare necessities. In the darkness, I notice a sofa with a crocheted afghan draped over the back, a cushy armchair, a bookshelf filled with mostly Auror-related mandatory reading and a few Muggle classics, a coffee table, a lamp and a framed print of the Irish coastline. I can only find one framed picture on display. It's a picture of the Order taken about a year ago. We're all smiling and waving in the picture. As I look at Tonks in the picture, I notice she occasionally shifts her line of sight slightly to the left. It appears as if she is trying to look at me. Why have I never seen this picture before?

The storm outside is still raging and the inside of the flat is briefly illuminated with lightening. The loud clap slightly rouses Tonks from her deep slumber but not enough to wake her completely. She starts murmuring in her sleep.

"Why," she cries aloud. "Why did you leave me?"

I have no idea who she's talking about but pangs of guilt are building up inside my stomach.

"Please don't leave me again," she utters softly. "I miss you so much."

Oh. She's definitely dreaming about me.

I take the afghan off the back of the sofa, walk into Tonks' bedroom and softly drape the covering over her body. My mind may be deceiving me, but I think she briefly opened her eyes for less than a second. My heart leapt in shock, surprise and exhilaration, then settled down as she continued to sleep.

I knelt down next to her bed and whispered "sweet dreams" and walked out to take my place on her sofa for the remainder of my sleepless night.


	4. Chapter 4

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

I groan loudly as I stretch out in bed, arms reaching for the ceiling, toes pointing toward the wall, back arching. Also breaking the silence are the various pops and creaks that now serenade me each morning. Wow, everything on me feels tight and completely out of whack; I'm only twenty-four but feel fifty. Something feels wrong about the morning. Should I be at work? What time is it? What day is it? All these thoughts are soon dispelled by the realization that it is still early Saturday morning, my day off. Why do I feel so strange? Then the thoughts of Dumbledore and Remus and all the horrors of last night surface in my mind. I moan, roll over and pull the afghan over my head. That's strange; I never take that afghan off the sofa. I must've gotten up during the night. Wouldn't I remember doing that?

Also, why do I smell bacon and coffee?

At the exact moment I realize that something extremely unusual is going on, I notice Remus standing in the doorway of my bedroom carrying a tray.

"Good morning. I hope you slept well," he said.

"Wha…what…what are you doing in my flat, Remus," I manage to stutter out, at the same time as I drag the afghan up to my chin. "How long have you been here? Why are you here? What are you doing here?"

He looks at me with a calm expression on his face. "I was hoping you'd be happier to see me," he says with a smile. "I made you breakfast. Well, it's not much of a breakfast since you had very little to work with, but I managed to find bacon, bread and coffee. Honestly, what kind of kitchen is without a single egg?"

I can tell I'm still wearing an expression of utter shock and surprise by the look on his face. Please Tonks, try to act like an adult. Yeah, like that's gonna happen…Remus is serving me breakfast in bed! "So, what's going on? Why are you serving me breakfast?" I ask him.

He bends over, places the tray on my lap, and sits down on the chair next to my bed, coffee cup in hand. "Nymphadora, I felt extremely uncomfortable with the way we left things yesterday," he said with a sigh, "So after much thought and consideration, I decided to come over last night, or this morning, I guess…" he trails off.

"Yeah, and…" I prompted him with a mouthful of bacon.

"And, I need to talk to you," he said.

"So please talk. You've got a captive audience," I tell him while motioning toward the tray on my lap. "Besides, I did most of the talking last night, if memory serves correctly" I said a bit severely.

"Is the bacon to your liking?" he lamely asks. I can tell he's stalling. "I prefer mine less crisp, but not everyone…"

"Damn it, Remus" I shout, "Did you stop by to talk exclusively about breakfast meat!"

"Ah, no," he said and cleared his throat. "I guess I should start by apologizing for Aparating into your flat without permission. I checked in on you. You looked cold, so I covered you up."

"So mystery number one is solved." I muttered under my breath.

"And I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you these several months. It was cruel of me." He said.

"You're forgiven." I said.

"I want you to know that these past months have been torture for me. Living in the wild, hunting and gathering all my own food, never knowing if I'll live to see another day. After a few weeks, I was existing solely on my own instincts, but I never became completely part of their community. There was a part of me left behind. With you."

I looked up into his eyes, shocked.

"On the rare occasion that we saw each other during this past year, it seemed like we always gravitated toward each other, although I fought it. I know you were sick of hearing the reasons I gave to shoot down the possibility of a lasting relationship between us, but all I could think of was your well being. I kept telling myself that you don't need to be saddled with an old, unemployed, creature of the night. I kept telling you that as well."

"But I kept telling you that you're not…" I started to say but he cut me off.

"Shh. Eat your breakfast and listen," he said in a mock stern tone. "Up until last night, I thought I had convinced myself that what I was doing was for the best. I was serving the Order on a dangerous mission and couldn't have you become somehow involved. Then all hell broke lose and sense was finally knocked into me at the hospital ward. After you left last night, I had a short talk with the Weaselys," he said.

"You did?" I asked. I could feel my eyes growing wider and wider with each sentence.

"Yes, I did. Somehow, everything started falling into place. So far we don't know what condition Bill will be in when he finally recovers, but he's got his Fleur to support him. She isn't afraid of what he is, she doesn't fear for their future, and after hours of walking and thinking last night, I decided not to run away from the only woman who has ever cared for me." I gasp as he moved to take the coffee cup out of my hand, remove the tray from my lap, take hold of both of my hands and look deeply into my eyes. "So, if you're not worried about having the burden of an old, poor, dangerous werewolf in your life, I'm willing to try this out."

"Come here," I say while pulling him toward me as I shift to make room for him on the bed. We are still holding hands as he sits down next to me. "Are you sure about this decision? You've been repeating your 'too old, too poor, too dangerous' mantra for months. Are you really ready to let it go? I have to know for sure," I ask.

In a tone just barely louder than a whisper, I heard his response. "Yes. I'm ready to let it go." Then he took my face in his hands for the sweetest, most perfect kiss I've ever experienced. Slow and leisurely yet hinting of a stored up passion. When we finally break from the embrace, I move to whisper in his ear.

"Remus, I need to ask you something very important," I breathe.

"Yes?" he responds with a deep breath.

"Is there any coffee left?" I giggle, letting my face break into a grin. It's been so long since I've been happy. I honestly can't remember being this overjoyed in all my life. Remus responds by pouncing onto me, nuzzling and growling into my ear, and delivering a soft kiss onto my neck before flashing me a grin and walking to the kitchen with the coffee cups.

Oh my. I'm feeling delirious. I can even feel the ability to change my appearance return. I think it's time for pink hair again. I've missed it.


	5. Chapter 5

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

As I walk into Tonks' kitchen, I let out a huge sigh of relief. Unbelievable, completely unbelievable! I see my reflection in the glass of her kitchen window and notice that I have a smile plastered to my face. Things in my life are, for the first time in years, actually pretty good. Well, not everything in my life is great and nothing ever will be, but here I am serving breakfast in bed to the woman I love.

The woman I love. That sounds so foreign, so unusual, but at the same time so right. The woman I love is sitting in bed waiting for me to refill her coffee cup. The woman I love is thinking about me right now. I still can't believe how this makes me feel; so young and alive, almost as if the past ten years have been erased from my life. I look at my reflection again and take in the small wrinkles around my eyes and the gray streaks in my ragged-looking hair. Well, she isn't drawn to me for my looks, that's for sure.

Appearances are important. Being a Metamorphmagus, Tonks is acutely aware of this fact. She doesn't keep her emotions bottled up. When she's upset, she shows it. I'm willing to bet she changed her hair to some bright, unnatural shade the second I left the room. I also feel the need to show the world what I'm experiencing right how. Some grand gesture to show Tonks that all this is real; something heartfelt and true. Something, dare I think it, normal. Whatever normal is.

I take the coffee cups and walk into the bedroom where I'm greeted with a bubblegum pink-haired vision. As I hand her the cup, I can't help but run my fingers through her hair. Tonks giggled.

"Hey, now that you've got me, you can't keep your hands to yourself," she said with a laugh.

"That's right," I say as I sit down next to her in bed.

"Well, I don't mind, as long as you don't suddenly change your mind," she says as she leans over to set her head on my shoulder as I take her free hand in mine.

I turn to gaze into her jade green eyes. "Nymphadora," I began, "I spent so much time running away from my real feelings. I wasted so many months that could've been spent this way," I motioned to the way we were positioned. "I don't plan on changing my mind anytime soon, especially now that I know how wonderful this could be…how we could be." I lowered my voice to a whisper, "this shouldn't come as a shock to you, but I have problems getting close to people."

"No!" she whispered back in mock shock.

"I've lost so many people in the past due to death or betrayal or fear of what I am. I had a difficult time believing you could have feelings toward me, feelings more than that of a friend or work associate," I said.

"We've always been more than that, Remus" she said, head on my shoulder again.

"It's taken me a long time to realize that your feelings could be real. I'm sorry I wasted all that time, but I had to know for sure. I've never been this close to a woman before, anyone for that matter. I've always had a sense of isolation regarding relationships. All my friends were dating, getting married and having children; I was busy closing myself off to the rest of the world. Feeling sorry for myself. Telling myself I'd be better off alone. Telling myself it's better for everyone else involved. The only person who would be in pain would be me," I said.

Tonks responding simply by wrapping her arms around my waist.

"But those times are gone, finished," I continued as I gathered her closer to me, "and here we are."

"Here we are," she whispered softly.

I looked into her eyes again. "It seems like we're doing everything out of order. I want to do something normal, ordinary even by Muggle standards." I bent down to kiss and nibble her earlobe and was rewarded with a low moan in her throat. Confidence surging through my veins, I slowly kissed my way down her neck toward her collarbone and shoulder, stopping every so often to nip at her pale, sensitive skin with my teeth. I continued by kissing and licking a trail to the hollow of her neck, stopping long enough to breathe out "will you go on a date with me tonight?"

Tonks dissolved into a fit of laughter. "How could I possibly say no?" she asked and answered my question by pulling me up for a wild, passionate kiss. I don't know how long we spent in each other's arms kissing, tongues dueling, hands and arms memorizing each other's personal landscape, but I had to be the one to break away first.

"Tonks," I panted breathlessly, "I think we need to stop. For now," I added slyly. I'm due back at Hogwarts to patrol this afternoon. How does 6:00 for our date sound?"

"6:00 sounds great. You can pick me up here," she said as she gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Wonderful." She made a motion to get out of bed. "No, you stay here, get some more rest." I lifted her hand to my lips. "Until later."

"Please be careful," she said softly.

Before I left her bedroom, I said with all the love in my heart "nothing in the world could keep me away from you," and I Disapparated from her hallway, realizing as I left that I left my cloak behind. I didn't really mind, I thought as I headed to Hogwarts, I've got something besides itchy wool to keep me warm today.

A/N: Please read and review. Even though this fic seems a bit sappy (okay, very sappy) there is a generous helping of angst on the horizon.


	6. Chapter 6 Pt I

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

"I have a date! I have a date! I have a date!" I sing to myself, as I lay curled up in bed. I have a date with Remus Lupin tonight! Although Remus left my flat about fifteen minutes ago, everything still hasn't sunk in. Less than an hour ago, I was fast asleep; less than a half-hour ago I was in Remus' arms as we were kissing. My word, that man can kiss. I was actually surprised, not that I had any doubt, but he seemed the shy type without much experience. Maybe he's just a natural, I wonder as I giggle to myself.

I really shouldn't be giggly. Less than a day ago, we were in the middle of a huge battle, Dumbledore was killed, and everyone's lives were thrown into flux. The funeral will probably be tomorrow, somewhere plans are being made, and the whole wizarding community is in a state of mourning…but on the other hand, if any good can come out of a horrible tragedy such as this, it is this: live each day to the fullest. You never know when your end will come. For all I know, I could slip in the shower this morning, get knocked out and drown. I'll try to be extra careful tonight. Lately, I've been less clumsy and accident-prone, but perhaps being perpetually unhappy had something to do with it.

"Tonks! Are you home?" yelled a semi-familiar voice from my living room. I'm sure it's Molly Weasley but the soot accumulated in my fireplace seems to be caught in her throat.

"I'm here," I yell as I leap out of bed and run into the other room.

"Tonks dear, you really should clean out your hearth more than once a year," Molly said after cleaning out her throat and soot-covered coat with the _Scourgify_ spell.

"Sorry Molly, my Floo is rarely ever used. So, what brings you by my lovely flat? I hope nothing is wrong," I ask. I hope Bill's condition hasn't worsened.

"Nothing is wrong. Bill woke up this morning and asked for a steak prepared rare! He's going to be fine…umm, do you mind if we sit and talk for a bit?" she asks in a curious manner. I motion toward my sofa and we sit. "We, Arthur and I, we're concerned about you. After last night when you left Hogwarts you were in such a sad state," she said then paused to look closely at me. After more than a few seconds, she continued, "but you seem somewhat different this morning. I haven't seen that shade of pink for months, and your cheeks! They have color! What happened? Or do I not want to know?" she added sneakily.

"Oh, Molly. So much has happened this morning," I said happily.

"Does this sudden transformation in your character have something to do with our dear Professor Lupin?" she asked.

I blushed in response.

"Oh honey, that's wonderful!" she said and hugged me in a great momma-bear embrace. "Did he stop by this morning?"

"Really early this morning," I croaked, extricating myself from her crushing hug. "I was sleeping when he Apparated in, he slept on my sofa and woke me up with a breakfast of bacon and coffee! We had a nice talk. Everything seems to be working out. We even have an official date tonight!"

"I'm so happy for you two!" she said, "Oh, that stubborn man! To think, after all this time, he was in love with you and…"

"Wha?" I try to interrupt her but she kept talking away.

"…in the hospital wing he accidentally told us how he feels about you," she stops long enough to grasp my hands and continues, "how he wants you to be his mate for life! Oh Tonks, I'm so happy for the both of you."

I try to get the words out of my mouth, "Uhh…love…mate for life?" I manage to say.

"Well, of course you know that, dear. That's what you spoke of this morning, right?" she asked.

"Um, uh, no. Not exactly," I answer, my mind still spinning.

"Oh dear, you seem surprised. Did I say something wrong?" she asked.

"Um, no. Not exactly," I reply as I stand up. It feels as if my whole body has fallen asleep. "Let me get you a cup of coffee." I said as I left the room.

As I reach for two clean mugs the words run through my head. Love. Mate for life. Remus loves me? I know he has strong feeling toward me, but love? I mean, sure, I love him. I've loved him for over a year, but the knowledge that he feels that way about me is still a shock. Did he really tell everyone he loved me? And who exactly is _everyone_? Did he crack and spill all his inner secrets? I've never known Remus to do that. He always seems so in control of his emotions. He keeps everything in check…and now to that other detail: his mate for life.

Oh dear. Why didn't I take this into consideration? A werewolf, like a regular wolf, takes only one mate in his entire life. How could I forget that? Werewolf mating habits were covered in my Auror training. One mate. Only one. One. One special lady. One partner for life. That would mean Remus really has very little experience with women! One woman. Breeding. Mating. My mind is spinning!

"Tonks, are you alright? Let me help you with the coffee," Molly said as she walked into the kitchen and took the mugs. "My word, you've gone pale. And why is your hair burgundy? You look like you've seen a ghost," she said.

"Let's sit down again." I say and we're back on the sofa. "Molly, Remus never said anything to me about being in love or wanting me to be his mate."

"Oh no!" she said, looking embarrassed for sharing these details. "I'm so sorry Tonks. I-I-I thought you knew already."

"Nope, this is a first for me," I said.

"You look scared. Do you not feel the same way about him? I know you do," she said.

"Molly, you know I've loved him for ages. It just…I wasn't prepared to hear that the feelings were mutual. I had been, pardon the expression, mooning over him for so long; after a while I doubted whether I'd ever be loved in return. Right now, things seem too good to be true." I said.

"And is that a problem?" she asked.

"No, not really," I said. "I think I'm just experiencing a mental overload. Especially with the, um, other thing."

"Other thing? _Oh_, you mean the mate…" I cut her off to finish her thought.

"Mate for life," I said.

"I take it you've never, uh, done it before?" she asked.

"Nope, I've never done…it. I had dated while at Hogwarts, but I've never had a really serious boyfriend. Then after a while my Auror studies took up all my spare time, then work ate up all my free time, then I joined the Order, then I met and fell head over heels for Remus, and since then no one could ever compare to him," I said.

"That's sweet," she said with a smile. "So what are you concerned about?"

"It's just that things are moving way too fast right now. I'm getting nervous," I said.

"It's completely normal to be nervous. Don't worry, I'm sure Remus won't try anything on your first date. You two obviously have much to talk about," she paused to finish her coffee, "but don't forget to have fun. Remember, you only live once," she stood up to leave.

"Thanks for everything, Molly," I said and gave her a bit hug.

"I'm sorry about sharing what Remus told us. Try not to tell him I said anything," she said with a grin as she took out her Floo powder.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I called as she left.

Okay, now I'm nervous, apprehensive, confused, giddy and somehow still happy. It's time to figure out what to wear tonight. I only have seven hours left to decide!

A/N: After a ridiculous stretch of writer's block, the muse has finally returned! This will be a two-part chapter of Tonk's POV.


	7. Chapter 6 Pt II

No copyright infringement is intended

This story will be an alternating POV between Tonks and Lupin, starting after the hospital ward scene in HBP. Spoilers for HBP.

A Chance at Happiness by Fairygirlie

I love shopping in Muggle London. All the stores are so interesting and the new Muggle fashions are so much fun to look at; I do get a thrill out of buying an occasional pair of Muggle jeans. It's a small luxury. I enjoy wearing my everyday and workday robes, but once in a while I need an out-of-the-ordinary treat. My most recent pair has been patched and re-patched and re-re-patched to the point of nearly falling apart at the seams. I'm hoping the patching spells will hold until the autumn.

I spent the better part of the morning and early afternoon shopping and getting ready for my date. I've always found it amazing that when a big event comes along, all decent, wearable options in a closet suddenly disappear. I have tons of skirts and dresses, all of which are currently strewn around my bedroom. Same with my footwear choices: shoes and boots are everywhere. When I finally left my flat this morning, I had some idea of what I wanted to buy: something simple, yet elegant. Something to show Remus that I am serious about him, yet I'm the same person I've always been, so when I finally stumbled upon a simple little black dress with a semi-daring neckline, I knew it was absolutely perfect. It was right in my price-range as well.

Dress: Check.

Shoes: I have the perfect pair to match at home. Check.

Accessories: ditto. Check.

Nerves: Even worse than when Molly left my flat this morning.

Yes, I am out-of-my mind nervous about tonight. Remus loves me and I love him. Simple enough right? Yeah, I wish. If only this was a normal, regular first date. Boy asks girl out…I must remember we are both adults! Man asks woman out on a date, woman accepts, man and woman enjoy a night of dinner, dancing, stargazing, midnight swims in the ocean, whatever it is normal people do on dates. The date ends with a kiss goodnight, or more depending on the couple in question. First dates rarely involve a secret knowledge of proclamations of love and mating rituals. But no one ever said we were normal. I've always felt it was important to be unique; everyone who's ever seen me can attest to this fact. But now I don't know what to think. My mind is moving a million miles a minute!

I eventually make my way to Diagon Alley to peruse a bookstore that might have some information to set me straight, or at the very least, calm me down. As I open the door, the sounds of chirping birds alert the clerk to my presence.

"Can I help you with something, my dear?" the clerk asks. She looks to be in her seventies and is wearing a beautiful green and blue paisley robe. Her hair is white and done up in a bun. Something about her seems very inviting, almost grandmotherly. I can't just ask her where I could find a book on such a risqué topic as werewolf mating habits.

"Er, um, yes. Actually, I'm, uh, looking for a book," yeah, I'm bloody brilliant. My mind is searching for the right thing to say. "A book on…magical creatures? Where would that section be located?" I wonder if I'm starting to blush.

"Which magical creatures are you looking for, dear? Anything in particular? Unicorns? Merpeople?" she asks, her face searching mine. I decide to bite the bullet.

"I'm not looking for a general book on all creatures, I'm looking for a book on werewolves," I say with a sigh. I hate using the word 'creature.' Remus is not a creature, he is a man and the love of my life, but things are so difficult to explain to the general, close-minded wizarding population. "I'm looking for a book about the life of werewolves as people. Their family life. Does that make any sense?" I ask.

"I see. Follow me, I think I know exactly what you're looking for," she said with a sly smile and I followed her to a dimly lit area at the back of the store. She climbed up a ladder to the very top shelf and reached for several medium sized volumes. As she climbed down, I noticed the odd smile on her face again. "Would these titles be of any interest to you dear?" she asked.

I looked at the titles in my hand. "Loving a Lycanthrope." "Werewolves and the Women Who Love Them." "Competing with the Moonlight: One Woman's Story." Wow. I was amazed there were so many books on this topic. I looked at the clerk's kindly wrinkled face and smiled.

"Am I that obvious?" I asked.

"Of course not dear. Would you like to talk about it? I may be able to give you some advice," she said.

"That would be wonderful, if you could spare a minute or two," I said.

"Come sit down in the back room with me, it's time for a tea break," she said as she locked up the front door with a flick of her wand. I followed her to a cozy room with two overstuffed wing chairs and sat down opposite her. A cup of tea materialized on the table next to me.

"Let me introduce myself. I am Hortensia Smythe," she said.

"Nymphadora Tonks. Nice to meet you," I said.

"So, dear. Tell me all about this man in your life," she asked. I must have appeared a bit hesitant to talk about something so private, as she warmly added "Don't worry my dear. You remind me of myself fifty years ago when I first met my Albert."

I proceeded to tell her the basics about my relationship with Remus, leaving out sensitive information about the Order, Sirius, battling Death Eaters, Dumbledore's death, and other non-vital information; I still had much to tell her about even without all the other details.

"And you just now learned about his impulse to mate?" she asked after I told her about this morning's meeting with Molly.

"Not really. I'm trained as an auror and a few years ago, I took an elective class that covered werewolves. Horribly enough, it was titled 'Dangerous Creatures and their Threats to the Wizarding World.' Centaurs, Giants, and other similar individuals were part of the curriculum as well. I took this class before I met Remus, but I remember being extremely interested in the werewolf portion. The mating habits of wolves who live in packs were discussed primarily, but we were taught that the instincts are the same in wizarding werewolves. Something about having one mate for life, I always found this really romantic."

"Yes, the mating instincts are very strong, but you will never find a more dedicated, loving man anywhere in the world. My Albert and I will be married for fifty years next month and he loves me even more than the night he marked me," she said.

"Wow! Congratulations!" I said, then I could help myself "if you don't mind my asking, did the marking hurt?"

"Oh no, it didn't hurt at all. Although I did had other sensations on my mind at the time," she said with a glorious laugh. I blushed and dropped my head to my lap. The marking of a werewolf mate takes place during the first lovemaking session and the bite is usually on the neck or shoulder.

This conversation, informative as it had been, was almost as awkward as having one's grandmother deliver "The birds and the bees" talk. I asked a few more less-invasive questions, finished my cup of tea, thanked her profusely, paid for my books and started to take my leave when she stopped me and held my hands in hers.

"Nymphadora dear, I wish you two the best of luck in your lives. Please stop in again; let me know how everything worked out," she said.

"I'll definitely be back soon. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Smythe," I said and left. I definitely felt much better but still felt nervous. Mostly first date nervous. As it was only 2:00, I decided to Apparate back to my flat for a much-deserved bath and afternoon nap.


End file.
